What do you want to be when you grow up?
I never said "a lawyer". Being a lawyer is a grown-up dream. What ever happened to being an astronaut or a cowgirl? Now those are some sweet jobs. Little kids have the right idea. They don't sit around acting out mock trials with Barbie and G.I. Joe. It's all giddy-up this and drink your Tang that.
When I was a kid, my dream job was to work at Burger King. See, they had these wicked cool microphones that they used to relay your order to the back. You'd order a whopper, they's grab that microphone like they were on Star Search and tell the cook to flame broil you up a fucking whopper. You'd order fries and they'd get on the mic and make it happen. You'd order a drink...and nothing. Whatever. I wanted to use that microphone so bad it hurt. BK also had a cool cash register which coughed up change into a little cup on the side. I'd grab that change when it came out and take off before my dad could get his greedy paws on it. Burger King was the tits. I wish that still seemed fun to me. BK here is hiring, so I could totally get that sweet ass dream job. They don't use the mics anymore though. Fucking techno sell-outs.
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