Coyote Fun

Ouch

I think...quite possibly...that my ovary may have exploded.

The Morning Routine

COWS!! Horses! Look, Mom, a cow in the water...I want to kiss a cow on the cheek...make sure you don't kiss it on the butt....HEY....giggle giggle....A FARM!!...a duck!....look, mom, a bridge...over water....look - WATER!!!....Hey, there's my new school....a firetuck!!!....COWS!!!...we should get a cow....we should get a cow and ride it to school....HI COWIE!!!....people eat cows.....people eat horses too....MOM, what's inside a horse?....do you like to eat horse?....if someone eats a horse, we're gonna have big trouble....if someone eats a horse, I'll knock his lights out....COWS!!!!....Hi cows.....bye cows.....I saw a spider...no you didn't....lier!...I saw a giraffe...gimme a break...HORSES!!....ahhh, I want to kiss a horse on the back....make sure you don't kiss it on the butt...HEY!!...giggle giggle....ohhh, I saw a deer!!....Hi Deer!...bye deer....some people kill deer and cut their heads off to hang on the wall...did you know that mom?.....WATER!!!....Hi water.....Look - a barn!....(one more curve...and then...the sitter)

Ahhhhhh - total bliss. Until I have to pick them up again.....COWS!!!!

Two Cans and a Piece of String

I, once again, wish to express disdain for this crappy dial-up service that I have. After spending 45 minutes last night shopping for school supplies, everything went to shit and my order was lost. I spouted off a round of expletives and then went to bed.

I miss the good old days when back to school shopping merely involved a trip to the supply closet at work. *sigh*

Maybe We're The Bears?

Orientation is next week. Classes start in 11 days. I feel completely unprepared for school. I haven't done much of any reading. I haven't poured over briefs and memos. I haven't read cases. I haven't read all the this-is-what-law-school-is-really-like books. I have a very small notion of what is ahead of me but for the most part I feel like it's sink or swim time.

The school has not yet offered up any reading assignments (beyond the non-law-related book required for the orientation discussion). I don't get my schedule until the Friday before orientation. I don't know my way around the law school - which is a crazy ass maze of a building. I'm relatively certain I can find my way to the school but am not sure where to park. I'm not sure what to wear or if it matters. I'm unclear on the total time commitment that lies ahead. I don't even know what the school mascot is. I'm a shitty student.

I'm not sure exactly why I'm mentioning it except that if, in a few months I am doing quite poorly, I guess you'll all know why. I can serve as a fine example of how not to approach law school. I may, however, do well - in which case I reserve the right to say I told you so. I don't really feel like I'll be in a position to do that, but who knows.

I think if I can make it through the first 13 hour day (no joke) of orientation - the rest should be cake. Yeah right.

I Need Marshmallows

I have created fire! I decided to try out the fireplace tonight because; 1. I wanted to know that eveything was working properly, and 2. Last night was freezing ass cold so I thought a nice fire would make for a toasty and enjoyable evening tonight.

It turned out to be a good news/bad news type deal. The good news is that everything is working properly. The bad news is that tonight was not nearly as cold as last night and the kick ass fire that I built turned out to be a bit much for the not so cold temperature in the house. I've escaped to the deck to cool off.

I love my fireplace, even though it did me wrong tonight. I may even build a fire tomorrow and just pretend I'm back in the desert.

Fun Fun Fun

Got my schedule for orientation yesterday:

9:00 - Opening Assembly [I haven't been to an assembly since high school - wooohoo!]

9:30 - "Speak" [Yeah, "speak" wtf?]

9:45 - Introduction of People and Services [They really know how to keep things exciting in the beginning ay?]

10:30 - Class Photo [I'm told we'll be forming a bio-hazard symbol on the football field.]

10:45 - 11:45 - Campus Tours [Really would have been more helpful before we had to get to the opening assembly, "speak", the intro of people and services and the class photo...but whatever.]

11:45 - 1:30 - Lunch on your own [And they mean it - dining with someone else is an honor system violation.]

1:30 - 3:30 - Registration (see enclosed schedule) [Schedule was not enclosed.]

3:45 - 4:30 - Financial Aid Meeting (Mandatory for all students applying for or receiving student loans) [Here is where we separate the men from the boys....all those on daddy's dime come the lounge for cognac and cigars....all you broke ass losers get yourselves to the Moot Courtroom for two hours of rollicking financial aid fun.]

5:00 - Dinner [Well, at least there's dinner.]

6:00 - Movie Night [Sounds like fun but....]

8:00 - 10:00 - Discussion of Book and movie [woo....hooo.]

10:00 - 10:05 - Break, change seats [Do the hokey poky...]

10:05 - 11:30 - Student Speaker, How Law School Claimed All My Free Time and Ruined My Life by whoever is available [Likely to be cancelled due to other engagements.]

11:30 - 3:00 - Kegger in the student center (attendance mandatory for anyone who wants friends this year) [Anyone not attending is required to show documented proof of social retardation.]

3:00 - 5:00 - Nap time (Panty raid to be organized at student's discretion) [You can sleep in your study carrel...if you can sleep standing up.]

5:00 - 6:00 - Showers in the student locker room [That's right. Room. Singular.]

6:00 - 7:00 - T-Shirt and Deodorant give away in the law school parking lot [Come early...they have lots of shirts but deodorant will be given away in a Survivor style competition where the winners have to eat wasps and mud wrestle.]

7:00 - 8:30 - Breakfast [Unless you're full of wasp.]

9:00 - Honor System Introduction [Where they make an example of the first violator and expel him/her as a solemn reminder to the rest of us.]

10:00 - Wednesday afternoon....more of the same [Day one doesn't end until someone rings out.]

At Last

I am here. Driving across the country dragging a U-Haul trailer is not much fun. That is all I have to say about that.

I'm still getting settled - it feels like it may never happen. Every time something on the to-do list gets crossed off, two more things get added. After all the shit I've already done, it only seems to be getting longer.

Orientation is in 11 days. 11 days until law school is a reality and life as I know it changes forever. That's awfully dramatic - life as I knew it changed monumentally 1 week ago when I packed everything up and set off at 1:30 in the morning on the longest damned road trip of my life. Nothing will ever be the same. It will be better. It will be worse - but never the same. That's it and nothing more.

Dial-up blows and I have no other options. Dial-up sucks ass. I hate dial-up. Dial-up can kiss my grits. That's right - I said it. Grits and all. (I'm working on the southern affectations).

So...blogging has resumed, albeit on a limited basis until things settle down. Thank you all for the kind words. D - I broke out the straw....so quit giving me shit...and get your ass up here for my house-warming party.

More to come.