Coyote Fun

Good-bye, for now...

Clearly, I've been a bit on edge lately. This is my last post as a Californian...or a psuedo-Californian anyway. I'm leaving for VA tonight or tomorrow. I cleared out my office, turned in my keys, said my good-byes and as of 4:30 p.m. PST, I became officially unemployed. Everyone cried today. On the way home from work, I had the windows down and the radio up. American Pie seemed to start on cue. Damn - I hope you hookers know how much I'll miss you. Get your asses to VA so we can share margarita's and laugh about the ole 29.

So bye, bye.....

Because

I'm blogged out. I dig some blogs and some I don't. I dig the new thing when it comes along because I'm sick of the same old things. The new thing is great until it just becomes another thing like all the rest. And they are all - all the rest. I'm waiting for the next new thing. What a mindless and incredibly boring state of affairs.

I notice everyone is blogging about the same shit. Everyone's vibing on the Dem's now - convention mania and whatnot. I'm digging the convention...the blogging, not so much. It's all the same. THE SAME THE SAME THE SAME - over and over and over. It's pretty fucking brutal.

I don't know what's worse...the same-shit-different-channel blogging or the fact that not one single person I know in real life is watching the convention. Not one. NOT ONE FUCKING PERSON. How can that be? How did I end up surrounded by people who don't care? HOW?

So there you have it. I'm sick to fucking death of it all. I'm moving in 3 days. I have neither the time nor the inclination to deal with these lemming-blogs any longer. I need a whiskey large enough to drown in and someone to share it with. Call me.

A Wrong has been Righted

Don't you love it when you get to contribute to a great social justice? I first noticed it a few weeks ago. It was the new guy. He isn't really new anymore but he's the last new person to join the fray and until someone else comes along, he'll be known as "the new guy". He doesn't work for my organization; he works for HR down a mutual hallway.

I was strolling along....no, walking briskly along (undoubtedly in a rush to accomplish some important task), and that's when I saw "it". "It" was an inappropriate poster prominently displayed on the new guy's office door. I stopped...gawked...hmmpphh'd...and walked on.

The next time I saw the new guy I mentioned "it". I told him that he might want to remove "it" because everyone could see "it" and perhaps he wasn't aware of how embarrassing "it" could be for him. He balked and decided to leave "it" where it was. Hmmpphh.

After that, he mentioned "it" to me every time we met - telling me how great "it" was...going on and on.

Something had to be done. Yesterday, I gathered the materials, obtained an appropriate replacement to display and planned the big switch. The main problem, I soon discovered, was that the new guy never leaves his office - not for lunch, not for a break, not ever! The plan would have to wait.

Today - I got word that he would be leaving his office early. I called b.g. (my accomplice), told her to meet me in my office at 5 after and bring the goods. Then I had to explain why. Then I had to explain what the goods were. Then I had to remind her that YES she did have the goods in her office. "Ohhhh....OK - I'll be there." Finally....sheeesh.

The new guy tinkered around for awhile and then left early as planned. Aha! We sprang into action. We carefully removed the dirty, stinking Kansas City Chiefs poster and replaced it with a door-full of uber-cool Denver Bronco photos. The cleaning crew was in the new guy's office and gave us a few sideways glances. We ordered their complete silence and they happily complied, hating the Chiefs as much as us.

We took pictures of the door, with new guy's name proudly displayed amongst proof of his new team affiliation. We hung the offending poster in his boss's office bathroom. Fantastics.

Tomorrow should be interesting. Go Broncs.

It's for me

I got a surprise book in the mail today. Ordinarily, I love gift books but this one came with strings attached. It came from my law school and they expect me to read it before orientation. There is something decidedly less enjoyable about reading under deadline than just reading for pleasure. I guess we are to watch the movie of the same name during orientation and then engage in a romping good discussion of movie and book alike. I saw the movie some years ago but have never read the book. I wonder if they'll serve popcorn.

Also, and completely unrelated, I'd like to get my hands on the jackass who invented the screening materials they use on laptops at airport security. That pad, which is rubbed all over the keyboard and screen and then tested for explosives (I asked...that's what they say they're doing)...anyway - that pad leaves menacing little bits of white fuzz behind. The fuzz gets under the keys and stuck in every little nook and cranny. Surely a swipe of the outside casing would reveal explosives should they be present. Surely a pad could be designed that did not shed. Surely I can find a way to get all this crud off my computer. Jackasses.

Eww

Uhhh...something horrible has happened to this woman's body. Who knew politics could be so disfiguring?

[from The Hill; The 50 Most Beautiful People]

Picture Postcard from Lexington

I'm in D.C. now. I thought I'd put up some pics of Lexington and the campus so I could share my joy. I'll add captions later, but for now...lunch and the Nation's Capital await.

Postcard from Lexington

It is beautiful here. The campus is lovely. The people are lovely. It's good good good.

I can't read my favorite blogs because I'm behind some library censor-nazi shield. How's that for cool by the way...I'm at the library. I got a library card. It has been the highlight of my day!

I also found a house and various other things which go along with it. I. Get. To. Have. Chickens. That's right. Chickens. Woohooo. Heidi - you should come visit.

I toured the law school. I'd like to say...the campus is beautiful. The law school...not so much. It's not bad - just not as colonial and cool as the rest of the place.

OK - time for lunch and contract signing and other less-fun-than-getting-a-library-card things that need to be done.

I'm off

I will be out of pocket for a few days. I hope to be able to check in and keep up with my favorite net goings-on but whether or not I'll be able to remains to be seen. In the mean time I'll be busy house hunting, sight-seeing and general all-around new-city-sniffing-out. I may even work on an FAQ (thanks to Color of Law for the idea). I'll try to take lots of pictures, but I make no promise to share any of them. To tide you over, here's some pics I took the other day when I went down the hill:

I've been enjoying this lately.

Cool sign post - I'm trying to get all my neighbors to go in on one for my street.

I don't know why.

This looks like some kind of snarky gang activity. I don't think we have gangs, but then I could just be way out the loop on these types of things. Whatever the original sin - the message seems to be working....I already have a less than favorable impression of this Rocco fellow.

I can have two

I have a new TV crush...Sacha Baron Cohen looked good enough to eat on The Daily the other night.

Do I Know You?

[Picking up my kids]

New Receptionist: Hey, Coyote...I hear you're moving. *WINK WINK*

Coyote: Yes. Are you...hitting on me?

NR: Uhh... So, I guess that means your job is going to open up huh?

C: I'm not sure. I suppose so.

NR: How many hours a week do you work?

C: I'm sorry, what's your name? Have we met before?

NR: *laughs* Really, how many hours?

C: Well, it's faily typical. I'd say I put in a good 80+. There's the regular 8-5, then you add in the briefs that happen at all hours of the day and night, plus the prep time, and the reading time - that's another 20 or so each week. There's the staff meetings, and weekly situation meetings, there's the support work and time it takes to log all the work you've done. Don't forget the bathroom cleaning and the vacuuming. That adds, easily, another 5 hours a week. Also, you have to wear a pager 24/7 and at least 3 times a week you'll get called in to make sure the sodas are cold for the next day and that the office windows are clean. It's a pretty decent gig aside from the Friday evening driving (have to make sure the VIP's are kept happy), but you usually get to go into the strip clubs with them for free. You'll be working more hours if one of them screws up and passes out in the bathroom or kills a stripper. Then - you're in for the long haul...maybe working 48+ hours in a row.

NR: .....

C: Shall I tell someone you're interested?

NR: Uhh...I'll have to think about it.

[In the parking lot on the way out]

Woman: I hear you're moving. That's nice - where to?

C: Virginia.

W: Oh...sounds pretty. When are you leaving?

C: In a couple weeks....I'm sorry, I don't remember your name.

W: *laughs* How much do you get paid?

C: The pay is decent on account of all the hours you put in.

W: How many hours in that?

C: Well, it's faily typical. I'd say....